Things I wish I knew at 21

Today I'm 41. Here's what I've learned so far.

1. Your 20s are for collecting experiences. Your 30s are for understanding them. Your 40s are for using what you've learned.

2. The people who say "I don't have time" are usually the same people scrolling social media for two hours a day.

3. Most arguments aren't about what you think they're about. They're about feeling heard.

4. Your metabolism doesn't suddenly crash at 40. Your habits do. Start moving more, not eating less.

5. The best investment advice fits on a napkin. Everything else is noise designed to sell you something.

6. Nobody remembers your failures as much as you do. They're too busy worrying about their own.

7. "Networking" is just friendship with an agenda. Make friends instead.

8. Your phone is either a tool or a drug. It can't be both.

9. Every expert was once a beginner who didn't give up. Every beginner can become an expert if they don't give up.

10. Saying no to good opportunities makes room for great ones.

11. The story you tell yourself about your life becomes your life.

12. Compound interest works on everything: money, knowledge, relationships, habits, and reputation.

13. You can't control what happens to you, but you can control what it means to you.

14. Most people are making it up as they go along. This is both terrifying and liberating.

15. Your future self will thank you for the boring stuff you do today: saving money, exercising, learning skills.

16. Comparison is the thief of joy, but also the mother of motivation. Use it wisely.

17. The person you marry is the most important business decision you'll ever make.

18. Kids don't remember what you bought them. They remember how you made them feel.

19. Your energy is finite. Guard it like your bank account.

20. Being right isn't as important as being effective.

21. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. This applies to everything.

22. You become what you consume: food, media, conversations, books, relationships.

23. Discipline weighs ounces. Regret weighs tons.

24. Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in a decade.

25. Your comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing grows there.

26. The word "busy" has become a humble brag. Stop using it.

27. Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer. But only if you're present while you're there.

28. Your 20-year-old self would be amazed by what you worry about now.

29. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.

30. The best revenge is massive success. The second best is not needing revenge at all.

31. You can't save people from themselves, but you can love them while they figure it out.

32. The internet amplifies everything: your best ideas and your worst impulses.

33. Most of your problems are good problems to have.

34. Your reputation arrives before you do and stays after you leave. Build it carefully.

35. The person who says something can't be done shouldn't interrupt the person doing it.

36. You don't find your passion. You develop it through action and attention.

37. The best gift you can give someone is your full attention.

38. Most overnight successes are ten years in the making.

39. You can choose your friends and you can choose your family's place in your life.

40. The only person you're competing with is who you were yesterday.

41. Life gets better when you realise that most rules are just suggestions from people who came before you.

Forty-one feels different than I expected. Not older, just clearer. Like someone finally adjusted the focus on the camera.

The next 41 should be interesting.

What would you add to this list?

SF.